Learning through the Journey
by Carol Daly July 31, 2008
Since this is my first entry, a bit of background is probably important. About seven years ago, I left full-time paid work five years earlier than I thought I would. My husband died unexpectedly three years earlier at age 58 ("I may not live forever"); my job had been reshaped ("I want to love what I'm doing"), and I was now old enough to dip into my IRA ("I can afford to live without a paycheck"). All clear reasons for a change in plans. Even though I spent most of my career with Elderhostel, Inc. working in the field of aging, developing educational programs for older adults, I had a tougher time than I thought I would figuring out how to live this third chapter of my life. Among the greatest surprises were:
- How afraid I was that I'd become invisible, and the effort I made to hold that at bay by working without pay doing what I'd previously been paid to do. (Crazy?)
- How long it was going to take me to figure out this life away from paid work
- How much I didn't know about so much
- How long it would take for me to find real balance - almost 5 years. (I'm a SLOW learner!)
The good news is that seven years later, I'm loving this time of my life. I discovered that what I preached is true! Lifelong learning (broadly defined) enriches my life immeasurably. I love taking noncredit classes, being involved in my communities, attending free lectures and presentations, visiting galleries and museums, seeing new plays, and playing with friends. My days are as full as I want them to be and I'm happy, not twitchy. In subsequent blogs, I'll offer some specifics, clues to how I've unearthed the myriad of opportunities there are, and I'll ask you to add to my list.
My question for you, this time, is "Have you had difficulty figuring out how to live this part of your life? What have YOU learned? Let's get a conversation going. We may all get smarter! Your turn....
Comments
Karen - 2008-07-24 10:37:48
I'm so happy that someone has seen the need for a blog like this. I agree with much of what Carol Daly has written, altho I may be less evolved in this process of learning to live life without work than she is. While I'm busy with many boards, committees, classes and friends (luckily), I still miss the structure that work provided---the problem solving---the sense of contribution. But on the other hand, I know how lucky I am to be able to spontaneously respond to needs of children, grandchildren, friends and myownself! 'Tis a conundrum.
Persephone Arbour - 2008-08-02 09:16:26
A woman after my own heart! Congratulations. Aged 75
I have just started my own website: http://www.persephoneabour.com
Learning to live life without work has been pretty seamless. Originally a professional musician - then turned group facilitator, counsellor and writer I have always been self-employed in various ways. Rather like you Carol, these days I share what I have learned AND un-learned with others. I have also managed in the middle of all that to be married (more than once), brought up four wonderful, self-sufficient children (two in the USA and two in the UK). Admittedly I have to create my own structure - but of course thee other side of that coin is total freedom. A scary place for some - but once you get there - wonderful!
Joyce has found that out already.
I shall be keeping an eye on your blog. good luck!
Joyce - 2008-08-13 15:21:18
I'm brand new at this: a beginner. I love the freedom. Although I am changing, my time management lack of skills are still with me...and saying "No" is still the same challenge. What was I thinking? That somehow it would all magically be transformed without work on my part?? Freedom and responsibility continue to go hand-in-hand even in retirement...go figure. I am learning. Being present in my life continues to be a great adventure.
Kris - 2008-08-17 22:23:49
Not quite there yet, but anticipating the opportunities and challenges that await me. I agree with the learning part Carol. I find that the more I can ingage my mind and my passions the more facinating I find the task. I am so glad that folks like you all lead the way for me, and are willing to share your trials and joys. It gets me thinking and planning. I can't wait to read more!
Mark - 2008-08-20 12:55:04
Carol --
If I didn't already know you, I'd want to meet you. You sound like someone who is doing a better job than most of us figuring out who you are and who you want to be. I will take your advice and remember the importance of lifelong learning. Thanks for the day-brightener.
Bonnie - 2008-09-07 18:26:21
I am in a transition from (more than) full-time work to a change in careers and hopefully working less. I am looking forward to it since I want to stay active but don't want to be so consumed by my work. This time "in-between worlds" is particularly rough since I haven't left my current "life" but have plunged into my new. I'm not sure I will ever figure out how to cut back and have more free time. Has anyone experienced this and how did you do it?
Persephone Arbour - 2008-10-09 19:49:43
Bonnie - all you have to do is learn to say no! Your no can be to yourself "no, I'm not going to do that right now" - that in a way is a yes to yourself also. Most importantly, learn to say no to other people, especially those that have expectations of you. Not easy if you have had a life-time of saying yes to everyone! Good luck.
Roger - 2008-11-04 14:18:27
It sounds like many here have good predictive experience for navigating life after full-time work (retirement) in creating self-directed lifestyles, including more flexible employment. But what about those who have little clue about, or few skills for transitioning from a well scripted life (e.g. full-time worker) into the relative unknown. It sounds as if mentoring or coaching by those who've gone before might be really useful.